Thursday, October 17, 2013

THE LUNACY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE

How can overlook and oversee be opposites,
while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Have you ever wondered how on earth we all understand each other with this crazy English language that we all speak? This is a funny read and leaves you saying to yourself  ''yeah .... yeah!"
"The Lunacy Of English Language"
English is definitely the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can
speak it. More than half of the world's books and 3 quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages, it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy crazy language.

For example ....

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth
beeth?
One goose, 2 geese.
So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend,

that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher
praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.


In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapfulgown?
Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would Actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race

(which, of course, isn't a race at all but you knew that already!!).


Haha! Cheers AND SHARE!!

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