Sunday, October 20, 2013


Last weekend, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said,
"I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."  I said,  "WHAT?! What was that?!"
She said,  "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 

"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.  She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said,  "Lets get a pair for each outfit." 
We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said,  "That's fine, honey."   She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said,  "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."  
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 
"No baby, I don't feel like it."
Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,  "WHAT?" I said, 

"Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."  Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,  "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...  :-)

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